I can’t help but to literally feel my heart sink whenever he replies other people’s whatever before mine. As much as I’d like to pretend I don’t give a shit, it affects me. It’s like I’m not important, it’s like because he thinks I’ll be here forever, I can wait.
Pardon me for being a whiney bitch of a girlf, you can leave this page if you want, I’m not forcing you to stay.
I know it’s impossible for him to rank me first, but it is nice, to be treated like nothing else matters except me. Isn’t it? 5 years, I’ve been constantly reminding myself, he’s not the regular boyfs you know. He’s not romantic, not so much of a surprise person, not a sweet talker, much less a charmer. I’m not saying that he must be.
He makes me feel like disappearing, just to see if I made a difference.