Truth be told, I have more male friends than female friends. Over the years, most of these friends, they come and they go. There are a couple who has been there through quite a bit of crap but the most dreadful thing is when they get a girlfriend.
The thing about being friends with the opposite sex is that they make really good friends, until they find love. Love trumps everything, so they say.
I made a friend about 7 years back, he’s a friend of my ex. J and I became pretty good friends after a lot of meeting ups, talking and gaming and even whining. A lot of things happened in these 7 years that we’ve known each other. He’s got a couple of girlfriends, and I’ve been through quite a number of rough patches. One random day, we were just talking like we always do, and out of the bluest moon, we decided that we were best friends from then on. We bullshit a lot, and I really cannot recall how that happened but it did.
He’s one of the few people I would go out of my way to do anything for. If he called in the middle of the night, I would pick up the phone. If he needed me to meet him to talk, I would gladly oblige. If he needed someone to drink with, I’ll drink with him. If he needed a 12-pack, I would send it right over. When no one wants to tell him the truth, I would. When he fucks up, I’ll be there. All because I know for sure that he would do the same for me.
So yes, he’s my best friend but he recently got a new girlfriend.
I regret to say that I do not like her. Not because she took my best friend, and definitely not because I’m in love with my best friend but really, because she has no respect for him among other less frivolous reasons. I wasn’t being a bitch about it, I told J about how I felt about his new girlfriend after meeting her for the first time.
In my memory, I was being very civil about it. I barely spoke to her at all, much less looked her in the eye. People always say that the first impression counts. So here goes nothing — she is loud, and uncouth. So young but so overly confident. A little rude, but that could be because she’s loud and uncouth as opposed to being intentionally rude. She seems to be really overbearing, wilful and bossy. She gave me the impression that she has no cares for the world. She has that kind of negative vibes that I loathe and I knew at that instance, that I could never be friends with her even if I tried. At the end of the day, I texted J and I said I didn’t like her and I’m sorry that I don’t.
He said he couldn’t understand my behaviour and ignored me for a good couple of days.
I never intended for anything more than letting J know how I felt about her. I wasn’t going to pick a fight, or be at loggerheads with her. I really just wanted nothing to do with her because I know that I wouldn’t be this kind if she crossed me or hurt J.
I’ve heard that he wanted me to apologise before he would start talking to me again. I sure as hell wasn’t going to apologise for how i feel. We’re good now after a couple of mutual friends who most graciously helped mitigate the situation. I’m not so sure what is going to happen if he happens to read this entry and takes it the wrong way.
What would you have done if you were in my shoes?
Until next time, n.